Tip 703: Building Bridges

From the Communication Workshops: Building Bridges

“United we stand, divided we fall.” —John Dickinson

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” —Abraham Lincoln

“Let’s build bridges, not walls.” —Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

But . . . how?

Maybe . . . maybe . . . four steps.

Seek understanding, not agreement.

Example One:

Duck says to the turtle: “I’m better because I have wings!”
Turtle responds: “I’m better because I have a hard shell!”

Example Two:

Duck says to the turtle: “I’m better because I have wings!”
Turtle responds: “Wings let you fly!”
Duck laughs.

Start the conversation with “I don’t expect us to agree, and that’s okay.” 

Build the relationship.

It’s harder to argue with someone you like. You admire. You respect. Find things to like: “Where’re you from? Orginally? Born and raised?” “What was it like growing up there?” “What are some of your best memories?”

The other person will probably move to “What about you? Where’re you from?” This shared knowledge builds the relationship.

Find common ground.

“What do you like about (whatever) (working here) (America)?” The other person will probably mention something you like about (whatever) (working here) (America). And you say, “I feel the same way.”

Celebrate failures.

You probably have a good life failure story you can laugh at.

“See this?” (You tap your teeth.) “Right there. A piece of lettuce. I gave an entire speech with a piece of lettuce in my teeth. I thought they were laughing at my jokes.”

When you laugh at yourself, other people can laugh at their own failures. Chances are they’re similar. Bridge built.

Try it. See what happens.

But build bridges.