Tip 715: Simon, Garfunkel, and Tevye

From the Writing Workshops: Simon, Garfunkel, and Tevye

Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel: 

I'm sittin' in the railway station,
Got a ticket to my destination
On a tour of one-night stands.
My suitcase and guitar in hand,
And every stop is neatly planned
For a poet and a one-man band. Homeward bound.
I wish I was
Homeward bound.

Notice that: “I wish I was homeward bound.” 

Tevye the Milkman (from Fiddler):

If I were a rich man
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
All day long, I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man.

You gotta love “Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.”

But notice: “If I were a rich man.”

So?

Grammatically, Simon and Garfunkel are wrong.

Grammatically, Tevye (or Sheldon Harnick, Tevye’s lyricist) is right. 

Why? 

It’s called “Subjunctive Mood,” one of the lesser-known language principles. 

Four situations in which the verb changes. 

A Hypothetical (Watch for “If”) 

If it were me, I’d buy the Ferrari.” (“Was” becomes “were.”) 

A Wish 

“I wish it were true.” (Again, “was” becomes “were.”)

A Demand

“It is critical the work begin at once.” (Instead of “the work begins.”)

A Suggestion

“I propose he work full time.” (Instead of “he works full time.”)

Tevye’s riches, unfortunately for him, are hypothetical. 

Interesting.